I look at these magazines showing people sipping espresso on their "petite" balconies and I just want to scream because my reality with a 60cm wide strip of outdoor space has been nothing but frustration and bruised shins. I honestly don't get why, even though I measured everything three times, I still thought it was a good idea to buy a "compact" bistro set, which resulted in me sitting with my knees pressed firmly against the metal railing while the table edge dug into my stomach, making the whole "alfresco dining" experience feel more like being trapped in a crowded elevator... or the time I tried to implement some clever very narrow balcony ideas like a fold-down bar table, only to realize that when it's folded down, it blocks the only airflow into the living room, and when it's up, you can't actually walk past it to water the dying plants at the far end.
Speaking of plants, do not get me started on the vertical garden trend because vertical garden drainage issues are a real nightmare in such a confined space—I set up this elaborate wall planter thinking it would be a lush oasis, but every time I watered it, the overflow would run down the wall and pool on the floor because the balcony wasn't graded steeply enough, eventually causing mold to grow under the expensive decking tiles I laid down. It is also incredibly deceptive how much space small apartment outdoor storage actually takes up; I bought a weather-resistant cabinet that claimed to be slim-profile, but once you account for the door swing radius, I literally trapped myself on one side of the balcony and had to climb over the railing to get back inside (okay, slight exaggeration, but I had to crawl).
It’s just a catalogue of compact bistro set mistakes and lighting failures because you think a string of fairy lights will fix everything, but really you just highlight how cramped it is, and if you are dealing with this kind of micro-space, you really need to check a solid detailed tutorial on ergonomics first, because function has to come before aesthetic when you literally cannot turn around without hitting your elbows on the glass.
